


The One Where Darcy Accidentally Acquires The Winter Soldier

by herecomesbucktofuckshitup



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Darcy wonders when her life got so fucked up, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Pie, accidental assassin acquisition, bamf!darcy, 中文翻译 | Translation in Chinese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomesbucktofuckshitup/pseuds/herecomesbucktofuckshitup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“An hour?! You’re leaving me alone for an hour with a brainwashed assassin with HOW MANY KILLS?!” </p><p>“296”, a voice croaked from the floor. “296 confirmed kills. Countless others including civilians. Collateral damage acceptable.” </p><p>Well, fuck Darcy's life. It's not like she needed it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One With The Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Darcy意外地捡到了冬日战士](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349781) by [hamLock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamLock/pseuds/hamLock)



> Hey guys! This is my first work so... be nice? This is un-beta'd so just let me know if I've fucked something up. Thanks!

Darcy Lewis was having a good day. Key word here being was. She was having a good day until she decided to have coffee at a diner in Brooklyn, where she saw someone she vaguely recognized, decided trying to be friendly, ended up having to use a kitchen appliances as makeshift weapons, dragged 200 pounds of man and metal to her apartment, removed an arm- ew, and is now on the phone with her friend; the blonde space warrior who looks like an underwear model, but is actually a part-time norse-god crime-fighter. Yeah. This day was shit. 

“DARCY LEWIS! HOW ARE YOU, MY BUXOM YOUNG FRIEND?” - Which, “buxom”? Did Thor find her attractive? Darcy’s mind was already swirling with ideas to convince Jane and Thor into a menage a- No brain, more important things.

“Uh, yeah, Hi Thor. Um, are the Avengers there?”

“WHY YES. WE JUST FINISHED DEFEATING A GREAT FOE AS-”

“Awesome. Is um, is Captain America there?”

“STEVE ROGERS IS HERE, YES.”

“Cool. Could you put me on speaker?”

“STARK, SHE REQUEST TO BE PUT ON SPEAKER HOW DO I-”

The phone was obviously taken away from Thor at that point and Darcy bounced on her heels, trying not to look at the arm resting on her kitchen table, the inert man lying on her tile floor. He looked kinda pitiful just lying there, and Darcy felt a pang of guilt, so she ran to her freezer and took out a bag of peas to rest on his head where she had (possibly concussed?) hit him.

“Hey, Darcy, you’re on speaker.” 

“Oh, um, hi guys.” 

She was met with a litany of “hello”s and “Hey Darcy”s and “Which one is she again?”s

“So,” she could hear the steadily rising pitch of her voice. “Captain. America. Right. So. Cap, I was at a diner and I saw this handsome guy sitting alone who looked kinda familiar, so I went to talk to him, and I realized ‘Holy shit, I totally know who this guy is!’, So I confront him about it, right? And he asks to speak to me somewhere more private, so we went to the back-”

The hot yet terrifying redheaded one’s voice cut in. “Why are you telling us this, kid?”

 

Darcy flushes. “It gets important, I promise. So, we’re in the kitchen and he gets...hostile. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t have my taser on me so I sorta… hithimovertheheadwithatoaster” She takes a deep breath and continues “So I take him in a cab back to my place and really in conclusion:” She takes a breath to steel herself  
“I may have an unconscious 98 year old, one-armed, amnesiac assassin handcuffed to my radiator, please help.”

“WHAT?!” Yep, that was everyone. Someone grabbed the phone.

“You- you found him?”

Darcy replied as softly as she could. “Yeah, Cap. “

“In Brooklyn.” There was a wet laugh and Darcy could feel her heart grow three sizes. “Of all places.”

“Wait, can we could back to the part where a highly trained Soviet assassin was knocked out by a college kid with a toaster-oven?”

“No we can’t Clint, shut up.”

“I’m just sayin’-”

“Shh, Katniss. Let Rogers have his moment.”

Darcy sighed dreamily as she rested her arms on the kitchen table. She wanted someone to care for her the way Captain America cared for Bucky Barnes. He sounded so relieved and anxious and happy and sad all at once. How could she ever- her skin touched cold metal and she was jolted back to how real this situation was. Holy fuck. She knocked out a highly trained Soviet assassin with a toaster oven. Her mind was suddenly assaulted with horror-story visions of the metal arm coming to life and strangling her. Yeah. That arm was going in the pantry. And a chair was going in front of the pantry door. Just for good measure and all.   
On the phone, the Avengers we’re all talking amongst themselves about Steve and Bucky’s epic reunion and forgetting about Darcy and how deeply in shit she was. 

“Hey guys?”

On the other end they all quieted. 

“Like, how soon do you think you can get here? Because he’s not gonna stay unconscious forever, and I seriously doubt my fuzzy handcuffs are gonna hold him for very long.”

Someone on the other end made a sound like they were choking on air.

“Well, we’re flying back from California right now, but it’s a Stark Jet, so we’ll get to you in about an hour.”

“An hour?! You’re leaving me alone for an hour with a brainwashed assassin with HOW MANY KILLS?!” 

“296”, a voice croaked from the floor. Fuck. “296 confirmed kills. Countless others including civilians. Collateral damage acceptable.” 

“Uh, guys? He’s up. I gotta go.”

“Darcy wait-!” comes from the other line, but she hangs up before she knows what she’s supposed to wait for. She walks cautiously over the the Winter Soldier and kneels in front of him. He moves his head to face her and fixes her with a steely blue gaze that probably would be more affective if there wasn’t a bag of peas on his head. 

“So, you’re up. That’s good.” 

He just looks at her, as if assessing her. Hell, he probably is. Darcy reaches up to remove the bag of peas, because frankly, he looks ridiculous. He flinches at her touch, even though it’s probably the most gentle touch he’s gotten this fucking century, he still flinches. Darcy wants to cry.

“Woah. Easy there, buddy. I’m not a threat.” She holds up her hands and smiles in what she hopes is a non-threatening way. “See? I’m a friend of Captain America’s.”

His eyes flick to her’s then all around the room when she says that. 

“Captain… America. Alias of Captain Steven Grant Rogers, target number 297 and….” He looks up at her with emotion in his eyes she hadn’t seen there before. “and my friend.”, he says, almost a whisper.

Well, fuck. Yeah. Darcy is crying. She wipes at her tears furiously and attempts a smile at Bucky. 

“Yeah. Steve. He’s a good guy” She bites the inside her cheek as Bucky looks over at where his left arm is supposed to be. She swallows around the lump in her throat and thinks ‘What would Jane Foster do?’ She would mother him into submission. Okay, Darcy can do that. 

“Hey, you hungry? I’m famished. I think I have left over pie... “ She looks at Bucky, who is staring at her like an alien. 

“What… do you like apple? I have apple pie and vanilla ice cream. It’s awesome. You want some?”

Another blank stare.

“Look, if I uncuff you, do you pinky swear not to kill me?”

Something in Bucky shifts. A cocky, lopsided smirk appears on his face, and there’s light behind his eyes as he holds up three fingers and speaks with a Brooklyn accent.

“Scout’s honor.”

And then it’s gone as soon as it appeared. Back to a blank, if slightly confused, stare. Well, the word of a boy scout is good enough for Darcy. She fishes the key out of her back pocket and uncuffs the Soldier. She stands and offers him a hand up, which he assess before taking. God, she really hopes he doesn’t kill her. That would fucking suck. She walks to the kitchen and makes a vague, sweeping gesture meaning “Sit down, make yourself comfortable, mi casa es su casa, please don’t kill me because I hit you on the head with a toaster and hid your death machine arm in my pantry.” Bucky blinks at her. Yeah, she wouldn’t have gotten that either. 

She goes to the fridge and takes out the pie, and starts to reheat them in the oven. She leans with her back against the counter and. And Bucky is still standing there like he’s waiting to be told to sit down. Shit, he’s probably waiting to be told to sit down. 

“Uh, you can sit. If you want, I mean.” 

He give a jerky, once-nod and sits, spine rigid, in one of Darcy’s grandmother’s nice chairs. They kind of just, look at each other for a bit and Darcy gives out the biggest sigh of relief when the pie dings and she goes to get it. 

“Hey, dude? Could you grab the ice cream? It’s the freezer, second shelf.” 

She turns around, hands in mitts, pie in hands and the Soldier is just, staring at her. Unblinking, fucking scary, staring. Darcy backtracks and tries to think what she did wrong and holy crap he’s walking toward her. 

“Uh, I mean…”

He steps closer to her and she thinks “yep, this is it. Killed in my no-pets-allowed apartment by a hot guy I didn’t even get to sleep with first.’ But when she opens her eyes, she is not dead, and The Winter Soldier is self-consciously holding out a tub of vanilla ice cream to her. 

“Oh. Thanks. Um. Here, put it on the table. I’ll get the plates and the scooper. Oh, and forks!” 

She puts the pie on the table and rushes through the kitchen to get silverware. She comes back to see The Winter Soldier sitting at the table, glaring at pie. When did her life get this fucked up again? She cuts them each a liberal amount of pie with two scoops of vanilla ice cream on the side. She pushes a plate toward Bucky and briefly considers if giving him a sharp object (and possible weapon) would be a bad idea. She mentally shrugs and figures if he hasn’t killed her yet, then what’s the harm in giving the man a fork. 

Darcy eats in silence for a while, and when she looks up, Bucky, The Soldier, whoever, is slowly chewing apple pie with his brows furrowed.   
“Do you like the pie?” Darcy asks cautiously.

“It… reminds me of someone,” he says, equally as cautious. “a woman.”

Well then. “A woman?”

His frown gets even deeper. “She has… blonde hair. Light eyes. She was kind.”

Darcy blinks. “That kind of sounds like Steve”

Bucky’s eyes spark with recognition. “Steve’s ma.” He smiles. Fucking smiles. “She used to make apple pie. It was his favorite.” 

The new memory-sharing was making Darcy feel a little bolder. “What’s your favorite?” 

Well, so much for the smile. Dammit. “The Asset is a weapon. Weapons don’t get opinions.”  
It wasn’t bitter, or filled with any sort of emotion at all. It was just a statement. A fact to him.

“That’s bullshit.” 

Bucky’s gaze snaps back to her like he’s been slapped.

“You’re not a weapon, you’re a fucking person!” She didn’t mean to yell. She just feels very strongly. “You’re a person.” She repeats, softer this time.

“You’re a person with feelings and memories and a name, and you can have an opinion on pie.”

Bucky pokes at the melting ice cream on his plate with his fork. 

Darcy sighs. “Wait here.” 

She goes to her room and finds the dusty old box underneath her bed with all her father’s stuff in it. Dog tags, pictures, and- there. She comes back into the kitchen and places her treasure on the table. 

She points at it. “Do you know what that is?” 

Bucky squints at the stuffed animal. “That’s a teddy bear dressed up like m- like him.”

“Him?”

“Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, 107th infantry. Fought alongside Captain America and the Howling Commandos. Died in combat in 1944.” 

Darcy bites into her ice cream out of frustration. “That,” she says, pointing at the bear, “Is a Buckybear. They made them during and after the war. What you-” she points at Barnes, “don’t seem to get, is that Bucky Barnes is a fucking hero. He is a symbol for loyalty and courage and patriotism all across America. Everyone believes he died for his country, but that’s not true at all, is it?”

Bucky shakes his head, and says, as quietly as possible, “He died for Steve Rogers.”

Not… the answer Darcy was fishing for. She was going the whole “you’re obviously not dead” route, but hey, “Died for Steve Rogers”, she can work with that.

“Right, and you know what? Steve Rogers would probably die for him too.” 

Bucky stands up so quickly it’s almost terrifying. His fork clatters across the table.

“Steve Rogers must not die. Steve Rogers must be protected at all costs. That is the mission.” 

Darcy stands slowly and raises her hands in surrender. “I’m glad we’re on the same page here, buddy. Steve is fine. How’s about you sit your ass right back down and have another slice of pie?”

Bucky nods slowly and sits down, the opposite of relaxed. He awkwardly grabs for his fork with his right arm and Darcy remembers that she had locked away his left one. 

“Hey, do you want your arm back?”

Bucky looks slightly terrified for a brief second before nodding, once. 

Darcy nods back, and goes to get it from the pantry. It’s a little heavy, but she carries it back over and drops it with a clunk on the table.

“So…. do you know how to reattach this thing, or are we just gonna have to wing it?”

It takes a good 10 minutes to put Bucky’s arm back on, awkwardly shifting positions and wishing Iron Man was there to help before finally clicking into place. When it’s back, Bucky rotates his shoulder and mimes pulling out a gun before nodding to himself, seemingly satisfied, and going back to his pie. 

 

That’s when the Avengers show up and ruin everything.


	2. The One With The Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And just like that all hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this and supported me! You are all so kind and beautiful and amazing and punk-rock and all around awesome.   
> Special thank you to Bryn, the Steve to my Bucky, for being amazing and awesome at everything. IWUTTEOTL, pal.

Some genius (probably Hawkeye) thought it would be a good idea and kick open the door, revealing a mass of heavily armed, world saving, costumed freaks, flooding into Darcy's small apartment. Before she knew it, Darcy was being pushed…. behind The Soldier?

Bucky was shielding her from what he thought was an attack. He held his fork like he knew exactly how to disembowel someone with it.

It was a western style stand-off. Darcy was afraid to breathe and shatter the tense energy in the air. Finally, someone moved. It was Steve, pushing his way to the front of the crowed entryway and stopping to stare at his long-lost best friend like a starving man seeing food for the first time. Darcy only realized her vice-grip on Bucky's good arm when every muscle in his body seemed to relax for a moment and then go completely tense.

"Is this..." Bucky spoke softly, almost like a child. "Is this a test?"

Steve made a noise that sounded punched out of him, his face becoming a clear picture of pain. He took a step closer.

"No, Buck-"

And just like that all hell broke loose. 

The Soldier slammed Steve into the nearest wall with his metal arm across Steve chest and a fork to Steve's throat. Natasha had a gun pointed at Bucky and was yelling at him in angry Russian. Hawkeye had an arrow strung and ready to fire at a moments notice. Hot new guy (with wings?) was yelling at everybody to calm the fuck down, Iron Man was escorting Dr. Banner out of the apartment, and Thor was eating the leftover pie. God, Darcy’s bitchy neighbors must love her right now.

Darcy walks over to Bucky and puts a hand on his flesh-and-blood arm. Everybody quiets. Steve is still struggling for air under The Soldiers hold.

"Sarge." She says quietly "What's your mission?"

"Steve... Rogers"

"Steve Rogers, what?"

"Steve Rogers.... must be....protected. At all costs."

Darcy nods "Yeah. Good. Well, right now Steve Rogers can't breathe."

Bucky's eyes go huge "He... he has asthma. He needs- he needs his inhaler"

He drops his arms and Steve falls to the floor, gasping for breath. Bucky goes to his knees beside Steve. His metal hand starts going through Steve's pockets while his right goes up to cradle Steve's face.

"Stevie, where'd you put it, huh? You know you're supposed to have it with you, you dumb punk."  
Steve wheezed a laugh. There were tears in his eyes.

"Don't need it anymore, jerk. Remember? I joined the army. Dr. Erskine's serum?"

Bucky's head shoots up and he stares dead ahead. "Dr. Erskine. Member of the Strategic Scientific Reserve. Lead scientist of Project Rebirth. Deceased."

Steve brings a hand up and to touch the one cupping his cheek. Bucky looks back down at him, and then to Darcy.

"Orders?"

"Uh, sorry?"

"Steve Rogers is safe. Orders?"

Darcy runs a hand over her face, suddenly feeling very tired. "Just... keep doing what you're doing, man"

She turns to the gawking Avengers and tries to remember the last time she had this many attractive people in apartment. Never. The answer was never.

"Hey Clint?"

He tore his eyes away from the moving scene on Darcy's kitchen floor to look at her. She could swear there were tears in his eyes. "Yep?"

"Do you think you could make some coffee?"

He sniffed and thumbed at his nose. "Yeah. Sure."

That snapped Natasha into action. "I'll help."

They started working in Darcy's kitchen and she had the feeling that she should be a little more concerned that they apparently knew where everything was already. Eh. Whatever.  
Hot new guy with wings walked over and held out his hand. He smelled really nice.

"Don't think we've met. Sam. Sam Wilson. Some folks call me 'Falcon'" He winks at her. She takes his hand.

"Darcy. Uh. Lewis. People call me Darcy."

"Nice to meet you Darcy."

She looks over at the table where Thor is reaching for the last slice of pie. She walks over and slaps his hand out of the way.

"Hey Cap?"

Steve looks up from where he was staring dreamily into Bucky's eyes.  
"Yes?"

She holds up the slice of pie. "You want some? Rumor has it that apple's your favorite."

Steve looks at Bucky and Bucky full-on blushes. It's kind of adorable.

"You remember that?"

"'Course I do." Bucky mutters "Me and your ma used to make it when you were sick." He squints and furrows his eyebrows, as if remembering. "You used to get sick a lot. Steven G. Rogers medical file: Asthma, Anemia, Diabetic, Color-blindness, Heart-murmurs, Pneumonia, Scoliosis..." He trails off, burying his face in Steve’s neck. It seems to help. Steve just pets his hair and rolls with it.

"And you helped me through all of that, pal." He looks up at Darcy. "I would love some pie." 

He stands and so does Bucky. When he sits, Bucky looks torn between standing by Darcy or sitting by Steve. He looks at Darcy and she nods pointedly in Steve's direction. He gives her a small smile and sits in the chair next to Steve. Steve puts a hand on his thigh like it's the most natural thing in the world and Bucky lets him. 

Darcy is- Darcy is really fucking happy, okay?

Clint hands her a cup of coffee with just the right amount of sugar and cream. It’s actually perfect. She squints suspiciously at him over the cup, but she's too exhausted to read into it. In fact, everyone looks pretty fucking sleepy. She turns to her new friend, Sam "some folks call me Falcon" Wilson, who's leaning on the back of her couch, sipping one of Clint's cups of coffee. Since when did Darcy own this many mugs?

"What were you guys doing in California, anyway?"

"There was this thing with an evil scientist and some sea monsters and... y'know what?" He asks, taking in her bewildered look. "It's not that important."

At that moment, Tony fucking Stark bounds into the room like an excited puppy, with Dr. Banner walking quietly behind him.

"Hey guys! What'd I miss?"  
Tony's all nervous energy. It's probably the worst decision Darcy's ever seen when Clint hands him a cup of coffee. He sips it and moans gleefully.

"Y'know we should really open up a coffee shop. We could make some serious bank. Hawkguy over here with his amazing coffee, Isty-bitsy can do the pastries- don't give me that look I've tasted your macaroons, they're delicious. Brucey can do all the teas, Flyboy can take the orders and chat with the customers and make them feel good about themselves in general, Thor can yell out the names wrong, Cap can smile that life-affirming smile of his at everyone, and his sexy amputee hippie boyfriend here can play guitar or something."

He extends a hand to Bucky. "I don't think we've been formally introduced. Nice to meet you. Tony Stark."

Bucky doesn't take the hand. His eyes widen then glaze over and he stares at Tony with something like disbelief.  
"Stark. Howard and Maria. Targets 184 and 185. Mission completed. Targets terminated on December 17th, 1991."

Everyone freezes. Tony balks. Steve pales. Bucky blinks.  
"I-"

Thor offers Tony his seat. Tony sits rather dramatically.

"I-" Steve strokes Bucky's hair.

"I'm sorry."

Darcy walks over to Bucky and puts a hand on his arm. She doesn’t know why. It probably helps her more than anybody else at the moment.   
“It’s not your fault,” she says quietly to him. That actually does seem to help. Or maybe Darcy’s just projecting.

It’s very, very quiet for a moment. Then Clint noisily sips his coffee and winces. “Soooooo,”

Darcy nods in agreement. “So,” 

Natasha moves to hand Steve a mug of coffee, but Bucky stands quickly and stops her.   
“Nyet.”

She raises an unimpressed, perfect eyebrow at him. “Nyet?”

“Nyet. Natalia Romanova, aka Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow. Red Room Defector. Highly trained, highly dangerous. Threat, not target. Nyet.”

She clenches her jaw and pushes Steve’s cup of coffee in his hands. “Chernyy, odin sakhar . V sleduyushchiy raz on poluchayet svoy sobstvennyy chertov kofe.” 

Bucky bares his teeth at her and she bares hers right back. He sits back down and gives Steve his coffee. Everyone glances at each other, slightly terrified and probably more than a little turned on. Clint raises his hand. 

“Do me next.”

Bucky actually gets a faint glimmer in his eye and his grin goes crooked.   
“Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye. S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, skilled marksman and archer. Possible threat” He looks into his own coffee cup. “Makes a damn good cup of joe.” 

That actually startles a laugh out of Darcy. She quickly covers her mouth with her hand.

After that, everyone (but Bucky) relaxes. They finish off two pots of coffee and the leftover box of pizza Darcy had been saving, but whatever. Darcy has a very intriguing conversation with Dr. Banner about the proper care of houseplants and figures that he’s a pretty chill dude. They clean up the kitchen and Clint promises to replace the locks he had broken (she knew it!). The Avengers talk to Bucky about moving in to the Stark tower and being able to get help. (Darcy felt the need to comfort Bucky anytime someone brought up doctors, because that obviously made him very anxious and that was making her anxious), Bucky agrees, because it’s easier to do his mission when he’s with Steve at all hours of the day.

He doesn’t really input much into any conversation, just sits rigidly, nods when it’s his turn to, and tenses at moments, but is calmed by the slightest touch from Steve fucking Rogers: human sunshine.

Seeing how happy Steve Rogers is when Bucky Barnes is nearby and how calm Bucky Barnes is when Steve Rogers is safe, is enough to make Darcy want to kill every HYDRA agent who ever even thought about hurting them. And she’s not that violent of a person, okay? These two are broken men, but they’re gonna put each other back together, and that makes them perfect. 

Eventually, it was time to leave. All the Avengers said their goodbyes and headed out. Soon Darcy was left with just Steve and Bucky. 

Steve smiled, looked down at his shoes, then hugged her. He was as good as a hugger as you’d think, but like, times 200. Darcy felt like she had just been enveloped by sunshine, wrapped in a blanket, and been given all the kittens. 

“Thank you.” he whispered in her ear. “Thank you for giving him back to me.”

They broke the hug and there were tears in both of their eyes. Darcy shrugged.

“I’ve always like strays.” 

He smiled the most beautiful smile and ducked his head. 

“Uh, Buck? I’ll be right outside when you’re ready, okay pal?”

Bucky smiled at him and nodded. And then there were two.

Darcy looked at Bucky. He didn’t look completely different from the man she had approached in the diner that morning like she thought he might, but he did look… better. This man had something the other one didn’t. This man had hope. This man had Steve Rogers. Mission accomplished, Darcy. 

“I’m sorry, for y’know, hitting you on the head with a toaster and handcuffing you to my radiator.”

Bucky shrugged and stared at his shoes. “Don’t be.” He looked back up at her, jaw set, but emotion in his eyes. “You gave me back my life.”

Darcy fought back tears. “Still. It probably fucking hurt.” 

Bucky extends his right hand. Darcy looks at him. “Wait here a sec.” 

She goes to the kitchen and looks for the discarded stuffed animal, laying on the ground. Huh. It must have fallen during the fight. Poetic, or something. She picks it up and dusts it off and brings it back to Bucky. 

When she puts the Bucky-bear in his hands, it’s a reminder. She kisses him on the cheek. “Remember what being James Buchanan Barnes means. And…” She swallows around the lump in her throat. “... and don’t go being a stranger.” 

Bucky nods and looks at her seriously. “I’ll call in with Mission Reports everyday.” 

Darcy smiles at him and squeezes his good arm, before letting go. “See ya around, Bucky Barnes.”

She receives a crooked smile.

Yeah, Darcy Lewis was having a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian Used:  
> Nyet- "No"  
> Chernyy, odin sakhar . V sleduyushchiy raz on poluchayet svoy sobstvennyy chertov kofe-   
> Black, one sugar. The next time, he gets his own damn coffee.
> 
>  
> 
> That was it! (sequel anyone?) Thank you all again for your kindness. (Anyone who wants to do fanart would be my fucking HERO)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr!](http://here-comes-buck-to-fuck-shit-up.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Edit: 2016- I really hate to ask this of you all, but I really need some help. I've recently had to stay at a mental hospital, and my insurance is refusing to cover the cost. If you can, please donate [here](cash.me/%24ZooeyPorter). Thank you so much.


End file.
